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How to Leave Your Baggage Behind in 2015 -- and Become a Better Leader...

As you look forward to 2016, think about what you want to leave behind in 2015. It's one thing to set goals for yourself, your team and your organization. But what are the things that you must release in order to allow these goals to actualize? 


The pain of these experiences is basically negative energy that is holding you back from being an even more effective leader. It's difficult to lead if you are seeing others through the filter of your past negative experiences. But how do you release them? No doubt you have tried, and thought you had, yet they keep surfacing. Perhaps it's time to forgive. You need to do away with your Old Negative Values and Belief system... Set a Goal for 2016, wright out the new Values and Beliefs you want that will help you to achieve this Goals in 2016.

All this exploded when I came across the following quote and realized that forgiveness is all about me, and no one else:
"Forgiveness is a selfish act that frees you from being controlled by the past."

Here's what I now do each morning:

  • I scribe in my journal: "Right here and right now I forgive."
  • And then I sit in silence and observe what comes up. Typically, a name or an experience will surface -- it may be someone close to me, a stranger who barged ahead of me in the subway the day before, a client, a prospect, or a potential client who turned down my proposal.
  • Then I write. I acknowledge the negative thoughts, writing extensively until I can find no more negatives. Once finished, I continue: "I now forgive and release."
  • If no one comes up, then I write: "I forgive anyone for whom I hold a negative thought." This is my forgiveness insurance -- just in case there's anything at all that is lurking in my subconscious.
  • But there's always another person to be forgiven: myself. Somehow it always comes around to this: "I forgive myself." Yes, the seventy times seven and more applies to me. At the least, I forgive myself for holding the negative thought. Many times there's another bout of venting and release, until I feel empty and clear.
And then I sit in silence and observe what comes up. Typically, a name or an experience will surface -- it may be someone close to me, a stranger who barged ahead of me in the subway the day before, a client, or a potential client who turned down my proposal.
Then I write. I acknowledge the negative thoughts, writing extensively until I can find no more negatives. Once finished, I continue: "I now forgive and release."



I used to think that forgiveness was about letting others off the hook. I thought it meant telling someone that I forgave him or her. I thought it was something I proffered magnanimously to others, ensconced in my rightness. I thought it was something that I doled out to the deserving like tablespoons of water to someone dying of thirst. They would be so grateful for my benevolence, and I would feel so, well, so righteous.

I know I have many more days to get to 490 (remember: seventy times seven). And even when I do, I suspect that I will need to continue. But hopefully, I will be shedding less and less as time passes, until I am fully and completely free from the control of any past moment, experience or person.

Today, start the process of forgiving the people in your work life for whom you hold any negative thought, no matter how minor or irrational that thought may seem. Do this every day until one day you awaken and you get to this point like my friend Maxine shared: "I know that I have forgiven someone when I think about them and I can smile from my heart about them. It truly is a process."

And always remember that the NUMBER ONE person to forgive is yourself -- the times when you were the "boss from hell", when you gave a low performance rating, when you lost your temper and yelled out someone, and so on. Carry those experiences with you no more. Leave them in 2015. Enter 2016 light and free, ready to create relationships with others unfettered by the baggage of your past.


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@Dannitrev

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